I have the feeling I’m getting oooold. I have the feeling that now I definitely have to let go of those extended teenage years. I still feel young. Yes I can hear you old people say ‘you ARE young!’. And yes I know. But I thought that by now I would have my dream job and know whatever it is that I should be doing with my life. I already found my prince charming and I have my first bundle of joy, almost one and a half year now. So yes, check. But I can’t shake the feeling that there is no time left to chase dreams…now I have to use my time carefully and responsibly or something… The worst thing about it all is finding a meaningful way to celebrate these years. Half of them were protected years, almost like living in a bubble shielded from the world by parents and church. And then the other 12 and a half were spend exploring and getting to know myself…Now I have these expectations built up over the last few years and I can’t seem to meet them. How underwhelming… Technically I am already 25. Its the last few days I can call myself exactly 25 years old, after that I’ll be 25 and a day, 25 and a month ect. ect. well on my way to 26! That number sounds very grown-up. Or is it the idea that a 26 year old should be and adult?
I know I’m rambling, making something out of nothing. Big deal, wow. Now lets try and find the beauty in turning 25… I plan on getting my hair done, facial, manicure and pedicure, buy a new outfit and then…go out to dinner and a movie with the husband. I want to look and feel different, but I also want to celebrate whatever it is I have achieved so far. I am freaking out, over thinking stuff and panicking all together. I’m still alive, now there’s an achievement. I survived giving birth to a son, I survived a car accident, I survived friends and in-laws. Oh wait nobody ever died from in-laws before? Strange…I swear my head was about to explode the other day..This day feels so important and I don’t know why.
I don’t really plan ahead…I mean in years, I don’t know where I’ll be next year. Hopefully I’ll have my bachelors degree in journalism, wait that’s planning.. uh..I don’ know If I’ll ever reach 30.. I hope so. And then I’d better have my own house and a job! Something I love or something that brings in the cash but that I don’t necessarily love. Turning 25 really makes you think..